personal testimony: melanie’s story

Hopefully, this will be the first in a series of real life believers who have
graciously volunteered to share their lives with us:

“Hi,
I’ve decided to tell you my story of life as a testimony to God’s power
and as an encouragement to you. For some of your this whole God thing is
AAhhh! or HuH? or totally non-existant. I just invite you to read this and
think about it. If any of you have any questions, doubts or your own
stories good or bad I am more than interested to hear back from you. I
invite you to share your stories too.

In the beginning I grew up in a trailer park with my parents who were
homegrown Hippies. My mom happened to quit the whole party scene once she
had us. My dad however still was involved to some extent in drugs and
alcohol. He kept his pain and addictions from us for the most part. Dad
and mom gave me and my brother a good childhood(Breanna comes in later). I
remember camping and Dad teaching me how to fish. I remember how he would
make me forget I was doing chores by playing records and we danced
throughout the house. Mom was more behind the scenes but that didn’t change
the fact that she was just as faithful to see that we had the best she knew
how to give.

The next phase of my life was going to school. For some reason I was shy
and unable to express myself there like I did at home. This started a cycle
of feeling like I didn’t belong and then being rejected by my classmates.
This thing escalated as time went on to the point where I didn’t really have
the drive or self-esteem to develop my talents. Instead I would start
something but not go the whole way and I could have excelled more in school.
On the homefront during the elementary years of life my parents took me to
church. My parents have always believed that there was some God out there
and they took me in the further pursuit of just who that was. I went to
various churches that tought that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
But I never really knew what that meant personally for me for the longest
time.
What I’m going to say next will cross the lines but I’m not ashamed to admit
since its history. There is so much abuse in the world…. I remember
being abnormally fascinated with sex as a little girl. I didn’t really know
what I was doing and I experimented with my brother, cousin, and friends of
both sexes. As I got older I knew it was wrong but I was addicted to
perversion, sexual fantasy and masturbation. (Many of you will most likely
want to reprimand me for sharing such intimate details. However I know I’m
not the only one with a disturbing past. If noone talks about this stuff,
how is the abuse supposed to stop? This is a daily, minute by minute issue
for many people and its destroying lives and families. Waiting for a
certain time and place to talk about this is way too slow to get ahead of a
billion dollar porn industry.) Anyways back to the past, I was very ashamed
about the incest, and nearly lesbian like tendencies. This made me isolate
myself.
As time went on my dad was very passionate to spread the knowledge about
God but emotionally he had wounds that the churches sadly weren’t
addressing. These wounds were salved by drinking instead and other
addictions(I’ll let those be his story). He and mom became more distant.
Since they both worked outside the home, me and brother had many
babysitters. We all gradually became independant of each other.
Long story short, soon after Breanna was born my dad’s drinking led him to
meet another lady who seemed like his soul mate at the time. My parents
were divorced when I was about to become a teenager.
I had already been isolating myself because of the rejection at school and
crap up above. This plunged me further into that state and depression
became normal existance. I had friends but was pushed from one group to the
other in the drama of junior and high school life. I went to a few parties
but it bored me. I grew distant from friends at school and went on a search
to find something more out of life. In my depression, I began talking to
God and listening to words and music about Him to find a way out. My mom
took us to a church that wasn’t as dead as the other ones we’d attended and
I got involved in a youth group. Somehow I just accepted that this was
truth and I opened up my heart for Jesus to come in at a huge youth
conference.
I had friends that were more supportive. However the commitment I’d made to
God was more intellectual and I did’nt know I could be closer. So I found
my kicks in a boyfriend at age 17 and lived the double life of going to
church but not really living it.

I liked this sinning but I also hated it because I would feel ashamed. Was
there something more than this? Would I really find the Cinderella dream in
this? I believed there had to be more.
When I was 18 a man in my church asked me if I wanted to work out at Eagle’s
Nest Ranch. I said yes. When I arrived there it felt like I had stepped
into a different atmosphere. Twilight zone kind of thing and yet it wasn’t
scary mysterious. No, what I saw felt like home because of the love and
radiance I saw in the people and in what they said and did.
This girl came and challenged me about my sin issues. I was interested but
became angry because I felt I had already made enough of a commitment to
God. But, after thinking about where my actions would lead me and observing
the genuine joy and blessings in those who obeyed God I surrendered more. I
cried and felt freer inside. I felt loved by my heavenly Daddy.
Then there was something called the Holy Spirit. I didn’t know much about
this but because of the love and miracles I had already heard about I
opened myself to it. Two men came and prayed for me. I just began to speak
in some other language which totally didn’t make sense to my mind but then I
began tembling with what felt like electric currents shooting all around in
my body. All night even after I was away people I still felt this really
cool sensation. I was sooooo excited!!!!! It turned into a feeling of warmth
and deep love as I went to bed.

After that summer I was really hungry to pursue this God who touched me so I
went to a school out there to do just that. Out there, I came more out of
my isolation. We had a time where we all, at least 30 people-men and
women- shared all their dirty secrets and shameful pasts. That was
extremely healing for me to be released from my shame of all that perverted
stuff. To see that people still loved me after sharing that further
deepened my experience of God’s love. I found out that I wasn’t the only
one. I met friends that I could talk about anything with and they prayed
for me and gave me advice. We also went on missions trip to share this love
found in Jesus Christ. The night before we went on this trip I came down
with a severe fever and flu symptoms. I was at home and my mom and sister
told other people to pray, she put worship music on and then they prayed for
me. I felt instantly better and felt like this thing broke off of me. I
believe there is someone who doesn’t want us to know this love and power and
his name is Satan. I could say alot more about that 5-month school but the
main thing is that I found love bigger than the love between any humans.

The transition of coming back to ‘normal’ life was difficult. I had so much
passion in my heart but didn’t know how to bring people into what I had
experienced. I have battled all kinds of mindsets generally telling me to
stop dreaming and live in ‘reality’. But people’s reality is based upon
what they have experienced so far. Years and years of same old, same old
makes it hard to help someone hope again. I felt like giving up because of
some more problems relating to God because my Dad was distant. I went into
a short stage of testing God’s love by doing drugs and by taking a boyfriend
to the sacred grounds of Eagle’s Nest Ranch. It was wintertime. I was on
cocaine(soft). I did nasty things in the main building with that guy.
Somehow I managed to stay a virgin physically. (Ooohh too graphic but sin
is sin so here’s to my surrendering everything so that you might be free of
your shame.) After that crap, the guy was driving my car when all of a
sudden we were sliding out of control towards a deep ravine with trees. I
believe it was God’s protection that we managed to turn completely around
and come to a stop right along the edge. My car is an old big boat and we
should have spun off into that ravine. I’d had a couple other near death
experiences before so now I was less afraid of taking risks but now knew
more that God was watching over me closer than I felt.
I came back surprised to find open arms in my church.
Since that there has been more struggles but to give up feels like a slow,
tormenting death. So I want to fight against the flow. If I’m going to
suffer anyway , it might as well be for what I believe.
I’ve done many things in an attempt to spread this love and truth found in
Jesus Christ. I’ve found people as time has gone on with the same passion.
I’m just as afraid of rejection as anyone else but someone is more important
and fulfilling than what people say about me.

I’ve been healed of gum disease(and it was getting bad), emotional and
relationship issues, and nearsightedness. I am completely whole. Jesus
heals from the inside out, spirit, soul and body. I’ve also experienced
more of that elecric current feeling(mentioned up above) to the point that
my arm span so fast around that it should of came off and then I fell to the
ground under the influence of some incredible power. I’ve felt like David in
the bible taking out the giants of fear, lack, and whatever else hinders
this love. It’s way better than drugs. In the presence of the Holy Spirit
there is great power, nothing is impossible. I’ve seen and heard a little
but I know there is more to be experienced.
If you have anything in your life you want prayer for feel free to email me.
If desired I can forward prayer requests to more people. I know there is
power in agreement.
Ask God to show Himself to you. I’m friends with a living God so I want you
to find out for yourself if that’s true or not.
Love Melanie

PS I know I need professional help but we all do, thank-you Jesus!”

Melanie’s email address is: melanie_herman3@hotmail.com

Profiles in faith

These two profiles of battle tested veterans show how faith in God
can be a source of strength in hard times:

Jens Pulver. The man known as lil evil.

Jens “Little Evil” Pulver was born December 6th, 1974 in Seattle
Washington. He is the oldest son (3 siblings) of a licensed horse jockey
and grew up in a five-bedroom, two story home in Maple Valley Washington.
Despite his fortune to grow up with money he often refers to his childhood
as a “daily hell” as he was constantly surrounded by violence, usually due to
his abusive and alcoholic father. The violence had gone to such extremes
that when he was 7 years old his father had threatened him and a sibling
with a loaded fire-arm. The gun was even placed into his mouth at the
time, and removed as his father said, “You aren’t worth the bullets”.

A family friend, Jack Ventress, would encourage the young Pulver to
joining a youth wrestling program. Pulver took to it very quickly and
during his education at Tahoma High School in Maple Valley, Washington,
he would earn two state championships. He would attend Boise State College
but his amateur wrestling career would end due to an injury
(bilateral fracture of the wrists). His interests would shift from wrestling
to martial arts and he would graduate BSC with a degree in criminal science.

After participating in “underground” fights he would befriend Lowell
Anderson who owned a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy north of Boise.
Through Anderson, Pulver would be introduced to official MMA
competitions. The Bas Rutten Invitational would be the largest
stepping stone of his career. In April of 1999 he would only
win one of two fights, but when he returned later that year for the
third Bas Rutten Invitational he would win both fights easily and
earned the attention of John Perretti, a matchmaker for the UFC
at the time.

In September of 1999 he would step into the octagon for the
first time. One draw and three consecutive wins later within
the UFC he would get a title shot against Caol Uno,
winning via decision. He would defend his title twice within a year.
The first time would be against Dennis Hallman, who was famous
for his two wins against Matt Hughes. Newcomer BJ Penn was also
given a shot at Pulver’s title, but despite a strong opening a left hook
from Pulver would disorientate him for the rest of the match,
giving victory to Pulver by decision.

biography taken from wikipedia.com

Pulver vs. Penn 1

Pulver – Penn 1 was a war, with Penn dominating Pulver in the early rounds.
Though Pulver was being dominated for the first half of the fight, he
says he looked over at Penn in his corner in between rounds, and
said ” i’m going to ruin his day ” and went out and changed the
course of the fight.
The following is an account of the fight also from wikipedia:

Pulver battled back in the third round. Successfully defending Penn’s
attempts to take him to the ground, and even scoring defensive takedowns
on Penn. Pulver frustrated Penn with nothing more than sheer will power,
not only winning the rounds but out grappling the world-renowned Penn
in the third and fourth rounds. In the fifth round; Penn, frustrated and
down on points, chose to stand and trade with Pulver. For the entire
five minutes of the fifth round the two stood toe to toe exchanging
kick boxing techniques. At one point a left hand from Pulver
staggered Penn, but the round drew to a conclusion and the fight went
into the judges hands.
Pulver would take a majority decision win. Breaking into tears during
the post fight interview Pulver shouted “On the ground again!…
I’ve been beat on my whole life, this is nothing.”

In the testimony section of his website, www.jenspulver.com,
he says:

“ In my heart I found God

Through God I found strength

Through strength I conquered all “

~ Jens Pulver

Taken from his website.

I don’t know how serious Pulver is about his faith, but one thing
Is sure, for him God is a source of strength

“Relentless” Lamon Brewster, former WBO heavyweight champ

A former Olympic bronze medalist in the 1996 Olympics, and silver
medalist in the 1995 Pan American Games,Brewster won the title from
Wlad Kiltschko in a very dramatic all action fight. Brewster continued
on despite being knocked down five times to win the fight in the fifth round, by
TKO. After the fight, Brewster, who’d taken heavy punishment – power
punches to the face and head during the fight, was unmarked and
when it came time to deliver the post fight interview Brewster said
” I wanted to show him that Americans don’t just lay down,” and
that ” God had been his source of strength ” during the fight. In
subsequent fights Brewster proved his character, no matter how
overmatched or how far behind he was on the scorecards, he never
stops trying to win the fight. We need to be more like Brewster.
Though Brewster is a small heavyweight, his always positive mental
attitude – always looking for ways to win no matter how bleak the
situation looks – and devastating left hook guarantee a tough fight
for anyone who steps in the ring against him.

Wisdom from Tony Campolo

Jesus spent most of his time with the down and out of his society.
He always had compassion for the poor and opressed. If any of us
make claims to be followers of Jesus, we should be doing the same
or we ought not to call ourselves christians.

In Tony Campolo’s words, when did christianity ” become anti-feminist?
When did evangelical Christianity become anti-gay? When did it become
supportive of capital punishment? Pro-war? When did it become so
negative towards other religious groups? ”

He continues on the topic of poverty “These are important issues,
but isn’t poverty an issue? When you pass a bill of tax reform that
not only gives the upper five percent most of the benefits, leaving
very little behind for the rest of us, you have to ask some
very serious questions. When that results in 300,000 slots for
children’s afterschool tutoring in poor neighborhoods being cut
from the budget. When one and a half billion dollars is cut from
the “No Child Left Behind” program.

In short, I think that evangelicals are so concerned with the
unborn-as we should be-that we have failed to pay enough
attention to the born-to those children who do live and who
are being left behind by a system that has gone in favor of
corporate interests and big money.”

quotes taken from http://www.beliefnet.com/story/150/story_15052_1.html

the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

Today’s world is most definitely lacking in any kind of compassion.
Where love is so profoundly absent, is there any wonder that people
are turning to drugs to help them cope with today’s mechanized
loveless human world. What do robots’ know about love? Maybe
the idea that “no rules are better than bad rules” wasn’t such a
great idea after all. Drugs are one of the most powerful influences
today, addiction is a widespread and terrible problem. Just read some
of these personal drug stories, all of which are very emotional, powerful, and moving:

http://www.thailandlife.com/drugs/story_001.html

We can always escape the heartlessness of this man made world by getting
wasted, for a little while, but eventually drugs become a hell of their own making.
When “Better living through chemistry” fails, there’s often few other options.
Remember, God always takes us where we’re at

welcome to the confessional

The inspiration for this page came from another page, this one:

http://munsoned.googlepages.com/home

The reasoning is this, while many believers try to live the Way
Jesus taught, the truth is we ( especially me ) spend our time
doing whatever feels good and stroking our own egos.

Organized religion is a failure, walk into a church and you’re
more likely to be judged for your appearance. While only 5% of
Evangelicals actually read their Bibles, they spend the rest of
the time telling the rest of us what they think it says and what
we should do. Someone needs to clarify exactly how ignorance
qualifies them to interpret the rules for the rest of us.
The standards of morality are for the individual who reads them,
THEMSELVES, not to be imposed on the rest of us. “He who is
without sin, let them cast the first stone ” It’s obvious that for
longtime members of these churches, their “spirituality” has become
a source of pride to them, and the building they meet in an
exclusive club for narrow minded rich businessmen or those who
have their minds on earthly riches.

Pride was the reason Satan was cast out of heaven

Is it any wonder this image is gaining popularity?

Who’s your buddy?